“Be careful, they said.
Be mindful, they said.
It might hurt.
You never know.
Better to protect yourself.
Better not reveal anything.
Better keep it all in.

But tell me, then:
What is your guarded heart’s worth?
True enough,
it beats and keeps you alive.
But it suffers in its cage,
and dies a slow, painful, lonely death,
that lasts all of your life.

So I will no longer guard my heart.
Let it shatter to a thousand pieces,
let it hurt,
let it be ripped out.
I know a new heart will grow in its place.
A bigger, stronger one,
holding an even deeper love.

Yes, I offer my heart
For anyone to stab it to death,
If so they desire.
I walk on that edge,
Willing to take the fall.
For I’d fall gladly
In return for being truly alive.

And if I need to,
I will rip your heart out, too.
And burn it in the fire
So you, too, can be free,
of the great wall that surrounds you.
And so you, too, can grow a bigger heart
embracing all of yourself with fierce love.”

“that feeling when i stand over a toilet (mostly a very disgusting one) and take a piss, and a stream of thoughts starts as inevitable and unstoppable as a waterfall — my glasses will fall in there. and suddenly i get tense because this seems so real. and i start to push the thoughts away because — law of attraction. i know in that moment that this is a very skewed interpretation of the law, but i can’t change it. vicious circle. makes me think of the decline of bus ridership. cars are evil. i am not sure how much i can embrace non-duality, on an experiential level. isn’t experience the ONLY level i can embrace anything on? embrace my fears. or a lover — it’s time to get back on tinder. really. if only i weren’t afraid to fuck. isn’t fear funny? it holds me back from the very things i am afraid to lack. self-fulfilling prophecy. like anything. “it’s all the same” i say to her. she looks at me and i know in that instant i have lost her. i can never comprehend how someone i love so much could ever not follow my chain of thoughts. it’s so clear to me.”

“i had i had it all set out in front of me
but all i said was:
it was nice to meet you

i had i had it all set out in front of me
future ambition
the doors i wanted to open
the path i wanted to walk with you

and all that you had shaken in me
all the meaning
all the meaning
all that it meant
how much it meant to me

i had i had it all set out in front of me
but nothing came out
when i last saw you

nothing genuine emerged from my words
my mind was blank, my heart was closed
my mind was blank and my heart was a stone
my stomach a fist

a grip at my throat

never ever
did i think i could be that closed

i had i had it all set out in front of me
all that i feel
all that want

the future i envision
with you
the path i want to walk
with you

but all i said was
it was nice to meet you.”